Its never easy to say goodbye. Never. Few months back, goodbye seems to be the hardest word for me. I hate saying goodbye to him whenever he sent me home... coz I'll never know when I'll be able to say Hie to him again. I was so afraid.. till I sometimes cry when we'll have to bid goodbye on the phone.
I had a really longgggggggg day today. My eyes are hurting now :( I'm tired of all these. I'm tired of feeling oh-so-pathetic. I had enough! Mentally tortured. Emotionally abused :S Why am I acting this way? Yoongsze oh Yoongsze, I thought you're fine and alright? Pfffttttt! ><
Do you still love him? NOOOOOOO
Do you still have a wee bit of feelings towards him? NO
Then why the heck did you cried?! Ι DONT KNOW! :(
Fine. I know. I was disappointed. Things that I just found out today... It was heartbreaking. Really heartbreaking. Its confirmed. The nightmare returns :( How can someone who knows you so well will have the heart to hurt you so deep? Coz they dont give a damn bout you anymore.. Rite?
No, I'm not angry with you. No, I dont hate you. I'm just really really disappointed... Couldn't believe that you're putting me through the same thing again.. You knew how I went through it.. You knew how hard it was for me.. You knew! You knew all these things and you're making me going through the same crap again. T____________________________T
Le sigh. If and only if tears can wash off memories.. I think I'll be suffering from LONG term memory loss now! HAHAHAHAH :P I'm pretty emotional tdy. I might be dehydrated. Lol
It was like the heavy downpour outside my window.. The only difference was there was a rainbow outside.. but I'm still searching for mine from the inside. Rainbows always appear after the rain. The best will always come after the worst. I'm waiting for the best since I'm going through the worst now :P
...and I thought I was okay. I've never been SO emo for a couple of weeks! I was so proud with my progression and those stupid facts just have to ruin it for me rite? Yer! :( I've gotta learn how to handle powerful facts :)
Blogging does wonders. I'm not seeking for attention by blogging things out! Its just that I'll always feeling better after pouring everything out :) Yes, I still do talk about you to others.. not because I'm still a sick cow waiting for you to come back BUT I find it better to talk to others bout you. Its my way to let it go.
Smile, baby, smile :')
2 comments:
Keeping it in will only make you an idiot & suffer more. Keep taking steps to bravely talk about it (to your friends or whoever) till the point that you don't drop a single tear! Avoidance is only a lie to yourself.
Guys can get real bitchy and full of themselves, I've had my fair share too =( But who cares if he knows you're hurting cuz of him? I'm not saying you should walk along the streets crying, but if you feel like crying a bucket then do it; there's only so much you can cry. After all, you're taking steps to move on, right? You're not taking any step backwards tua te =)
Totally! Keeping everything to myself sucks big time! Lol. I'll always feel better after telling out to my friends ;)
They're just too selfish at times. LOL! Sometimes, they just dont get it that girls do feel better after crying and telling it out to others. All they know is that the world revolves around them and its a way for us to gain sympathy from them.. FTL! LOL
Thanks tua se liap! :)
Post a Comment