Decisions. I have big decisions to make!
I'm so afraid to take a step ahead, to decide on which course to take, which uni to go!
I'm so fickle-minded and I think I might had just wasted my previous uni applications :\
I'm clueless of what/who I wanna be. Which engineering courses to choose?! FML
Been rooting for Chemical Engineering for two years and.. I've lost by interest by now.
Its not that appealing anymore plus I'll be having a tough time to find for job after my degree.
My dream of working at those platforms in the middle of the sea, travelling from one platform to another with helicopter, working for only 2 weeks per month.. blablabla, has just crashed like that when I found out how limited job offers are there for me! Those petrol company have their own freaking scholars! How am I going to compete with them? :\
Then, parents asked me to consider bout Civil Engineering.
First thing that came to my mind : Those yellow-Phua-Chu-Kang boots!!
Thats the minor part of it... I still have those yellow helmets, goggles and neon coloured vest!
I'll look like one of those those illegal immigrants who swam across the sea just to get a living here on construction sites. Sad.
And.. since I'm giving Civil Eng some thoughts, Architecture came into my mind!
Googled info-s bout it and was really hyped up till I realized that I cant draw a straight line!
Yes, you read that, I cant draw the simplest thing! Even if I am provided with ruler.. the line will still be crooked. Hmm... Look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa.. maybe straight lines doenst matter that much? :P
I cant see myself clicking with any of those courses! :S
Engineering is a big word to me. I'm so afraid that I cant take it :(
After reading this post... I feel like a bimbo D:
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Breakdown
The wall around my heart is breaking down.. The gates around my tear glands are opening.. I'm not happy. I'm not! I'm in pain :( Damn, the pain just wouldn't go away! Tsk. Ten years later, I'll make sure my babies appreciate their mama more than their papa! Tell me how not to appreciate women who can bleed for a week and did not die from insufficiency of blood? :P Gosh, the hormones are definitely taking a toll on my emotions.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Back To November
I'm so glad you are happy right now
How's life? Tell me,how you're doing
It has really been for awhile..
You've been good, busier than ever
We've been like the monsoon raining weather
So dark and cold, perfect strangers
Because our last date, that Thursday night
Is still burned in the back of my mind
We watched movie, our thirtieth movie
So this is me realizing my fault
thinking that you will not
let go, holding on till the end...
And I'll go back to November all the time
It turns out we were both falling fast for nothing
Wishing I'd realized what we had when we were friends..
I'll go back to November, change my mind and make it alright
I'll go back to November all the time..
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back all your sweet deeds
When your birthday passed, and I didnt call...
Then I think about moments, all the beautiful times
How you appeared as the saviour of my life
Midnight calls just to cheer me up
And the surprises, the hoodie, the tablets touched my heart
This is how we started off, and all we have now is goodbye
So this is me realizing my fault
thinking that you will not
let go, holding on till the end...
And I'll go back to November all the time
It turns out we weer both falling fast for nothing
Wishing I'd realized what we had when we were friends..
I'll go back to November, change my mind and make it alright
I'll go back to November all the time..
I miss your tan skin, your big eyes
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that November night
The first time you ever watched me sleep
Maybe this is foolish thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
I was silly enough, I swear I was happy
I'd go back in time and change it, but I cant
So all I left to do was to, realize it...
So this is it finally, I am
waking up, facing it
no point turning back and be sad..
And now I'm grateful for you
It turns out you've opened my eyes to the world
Realized how harsh reality are supposed to be...
And I'll go back to November, cherishing everything we had
I'll go back to November, wishing you are once real to me
I'll go back to November all the time..
All the time...
Finally. Finally. Finally I'm alright :)
It was a bittersweet experience and now I'm learning how to cherish it..
Yes, it takes a very long time for me to recover this time.. Dont wanna repeat the same mistake by depending my feelings on others to heal. Imma standing up on my own, yo! :D
Retail therapy plays a very big and important role too! :P
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